Life holds less constraints I’m finding as I age. I’d imagined boundaries that I had to stay in but they keep falling away. I’ve re-applied for my usual contracts and have a 50/50 chance of getting them. Last night after a sleepless night I can see new opportunities will flow through if I don’t get the contracts. I shall have time to finally finish the major editing process on my Amy novel.
I have another 10 years of working life and for the first time in ages, time enough to be more adventurous, allowing in more uncertainty.
I find inspiration from Matthew 10 v39. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. We were talking about prayer after our Quaker meeting last week, and it was said that prayer is a process of aligning desires and anxieties towards the perspective that God has.
So here’s to being on the of brink positive change. Time to notice, time to immerse, time to turn to creative and inspiring work.
Us Ventnor writers started a new project yesterday with a visit to Dimbola Lodge – the home of Margaret Cameron who is known nowadays as an innovative photographer in her time – Tennyson’s time – his family lived next door at Farringford.
So after a talk and looking around the gallery of her work, this poem about Emily Tennyson and Margaret when the Camerons prepared to return to Ceylon.
I gave her a grand piano
She gave me a pink rose
I shall hear exquisite music in my mind’s eye
Transitory, a pink rose.
There’s something about giving and receiving
that I love.
There’s never too much of either.
A pink rose, this one unique
fresh at its peak of beauty
prickly to grasp
petals soft to touch, sweet to smell.
Make way for adventures to come
with backdrop of Freshwater ever present
Ceylon tea in English tea cups
hot dampness in place of fresh gales
rustling tea plants versus distant crash of waves.
Where is home?
My sons, my husband, my beginnings shall be my end.
Tomorrow the British Science Festival starts in Birmingham and the titles of some of the talks and workshops are amazingly curious so I’ve stolen some of them, jiggled them about a bit and it’s a poem of sorts another kind of voices of the Earth – science style:
How old are you really?
Sound of stars
Can you walk on custard?
Medical Mystery tour of a beautiful brain
The carbon conundrum
Robot turtle to Raspberry Pi.
Being green can stop you feeling blue.
Of crafty crows and space shuttles
Your astonishing liver
What have bubbles ever done for your (I made this one up).
Why don’t you have teeth in your eyeballs.
Forests of the future.
The incredible unlikedness of BEING.
[Reference: British Science Festival Programme 2014).
Whilst I was thinking about what to choose to observe and write about I constructed a little sculpture out of twigs – certainly a change from my urban focus.
Then I found my ‘thing’
And closer still:
And the poem:
on a breath of wind
not quite a birth
dark secret place
I am formed
Past giants dwarfed
cream smooth, finest feathering
Still – silent growth
Am I edible, I hope not
Formed out of decay
I don’t relish
I haven’t posted for an age and was reminded that this would be a good use of my blog whilst I’m away on holiday at the Quaker Study Centre in Birmingham. Hopefully it will mean that all the amazing creativity that I’m hoping for won’t get forgotten in the weeks to come.
So this is the first evening of ‘Voices of the Earth’ – messing about with arty stuff to get inspiration in different ways. I headed out into the walled garden and by the lake in the sunshine on arrival – beautiful.
Ventnor Library hosted a World Book Night and as ever, an enjoyable evening. I picked Confessions of a GP, a light-hearted volume of short observations of the ways of the world (well patients) by Dr Benjamin Daniels.
We did some reading and swopping. I read from Stoner – a Vintage Classic – by John Williams, a piece from fairly early in the story when Stoner is asked to voice an opinion on a Shakespeare sonnet, and he’s physically so overwhelmed he can hardly speak. Seemed fitting since 23rd April is taken as Shakespeare’s birthday I’m told.
Someone read from Roger Deakin’s Waterlog and I have that now on my list to acquire or quite possibly borrow from Ventnor library. It’s fantastic to be read too and to discover another novelist that I’ve not come across before.
I’ve also been given The Help by Kathryn Stockett to read.
After a bit of an internal struggle in coming to terms with not being able to drive, I can see the positive aspects now. Main one is on my writing, what an opportunity to hear and see, to be in a moment and to share a bit of yourself with others and they with you. I feel a poem coming on, still germinating and will have to remain in that state until my marking mountain subsides……
Eyesight is a precious thing, not enough eyesight is a different precious thing.
I couldn’t have read this book at a better time for two reasons:
1. I read a new chapter of my own book to my writers’ group and one of the comments came back was that I had two strong central characters and in doing so the sympathy for both characters is diluted. Food for thought. So when I read this book, it had two such characters – and that’s exactly what happened. Sometimes the voices of Baz and Maia are quite similar, both on the edge of belonging but both forced into the centre of the action (riots, racism, homelessness).
2. It’s a great book though and resonates with me as my own book has rioting as a kind of historical backdrop. Mine is historical, this is for real – the book set in the early 1980s and it’s been useful to remember the features of the riots then – often racial and violent – so perhaps different to the riots of two summers ago – but maybe the roots – inequality and poverty – are similar. Glad to have read it.
It felt like a huge achievement to have written a whole novel and I knew that editing (in a strategic rather than nit-picking way) was my next stage.
There are so many choices to make. I’ve printed out 130+ pages and shuffled them so that I have contained Amy, Mel and Amy’s Nan pieces. When I read them in this way I can see the development and changes in each character, I can see the shifting and adjusting that the characters do between each other.
The teenage voices are those I’m most interested in, so it’s likely that Nan will fall by the wayside in having her own voice. I’ve poured over a timeline, producing a table that tracks the major events for each character and at the same time provides me with a helicopter view of my book.
I seem to be discarding as much as I keep. The jewels will shine more brightly without clutter.